Feb. 3rd, 2011
"Playing" hard to get
Feb. 3rd, 2011 11:45 pmI saw that phrase "playing hard to get" in a humor/satire column a while back. It was used in the context that women, in order to appeal to a significant other, shouldn't always be available (even if they are). A ploy - maybe more of a tactic - as old as the relationship between the sexes.
I think it was the word "playing" that got me started on this blog post. I know there are those who do the hard-to-get thing just to tease, who enjoy driving the other party bananas with suspense. I know those who use the tactic sparingly, like seasoning with a rare spice - usually if the other party has been showing symptoms of taking the tactician for granted.
Attraction is a wonderful thing (where would we be without it), and so is the dance of building a relationship. Too available, and the thrill of discovery exits; too aggressive and the spectre of stalking rears its ugly head; too aloof and the suspicion of the whole adventure being worth it starts to sneak into the picture. So obviously extremes are to be avoided.
I think "playing hard to get" should be used to convey the message that "I'm a person who values my time and space. Just because we've got the hots for each other, shouldn't mean I'm expected to drop everything when you call for a date (even if I would like nothing better than to cuddle you endlessly right now)." Something along the lines of Gibran's "Let there be spaces in your togetherness..."
This actually sounded much better in my head. At least, it felt clearer in my head. Am half-watching the continuing coverage of events in Egypt, so yeah, distracted writing is somewhat incoherent. (*blink* Either CNNi's Fionnuala Sweeney has gained weight, or she is expecting a child, or that outfit she's got on is making her look larger.) Hopefully I'm not igniting any squibs with this post; just felt the need to set down random thinking after posting tweets for so long.
In other news,![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyegreen and just_ruth, I got your Christmas cards today! *happy dance*
I think it was the word "playing" that got me started on this blog post. I know there are those who do the hard-to-get thing just to tease, who enjoy driving the other party bananas with suspense. I know those who use the tactic sparingly, like seasoning with a rare spice - usually if the other party has been showing symptoms of taking the tactician for granted.
Attraction is a wonderful thing (where would we be without it), and so is the dance of building a relationship. Too available, and the thrill of discovery exits; too aggressive and the spectre of stalking rears its ugly head; too aloof and the suspicion of the whole adventure being worth it starts to sneak into the picture. So obviously extremes are to be avoided.
I think "playing hard to get" should be used to convey the message that "I'm a person who values my time and space. Just because we've got the hots for each other, shouldn't mean I'm expected to drop everything when you call for a date (even if I would like nothing better than to cuddle you endlessly right now)." Something along the lines of Gibran's "Let there be spaces in your togetherness..."
This actually sounded much better in my head. At least, it felt clearer in my head. Am half-watching the continuing coverage of events in Egypt, so yeah, distracted writing is somewhat incoherent. (*blink* Either CNNi's Fionnuala Sweeney has gained weight, or she is expecting a child, or that outfit she's got on is making her look larger.) Hopefully I'm not igniting any squibs with this post; just felt the need to set down random thinking after posting tweets for so long.
In other news,
ladyegreen and just_ruth, I got your Christmas cards today! *happy dance*![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}